Breathe, Live and Love
by theultimatezb
Summary: One shots of Gail and Holly's not so fairytale life.
1. Hands

You're not sure how you made it home, but you're not surprised at all. Ever since it happened that many hours ago, your body has been working on autopilot. Having almost no control of your movements, being led away almost immediately and going to places you're told to. Your brain, worked in a systematic manner, providing the officer from SIU with every single detail that led to the incident and the aftermath of what happened.

You're now sitting in the middle of your master bathroom, of your shared apartment with the brunette._ Shit._ You're rather unaware of many things at the moment, but you're sure you haven't contacted her ever since you're done with the interview. You shut your eyes tightly for a few moments before opening them and blinking several times, your vision fuzzy around the edges. You lean against the bathtub, hoping for the cold porcelain to sooth your skin, the cool floor tiles to keep you grounded beneath your bare feet. One of your colleagues probably dropped you off, but it's entirely possible that you walked home since you now live 15 minutes of walking distance away from the station. You're currently half way through a brand new bottle of whisky and too drunk to remember or care how you got home in this brutally cold and windy night.

You don't know how long you sat in the interview room going over and over, step by step of your actions. But you know it was long enough for doubt to creep in. How sure are you that the man was about to shoot the woman? Did your hand slip and your finger accidentally pulled the trigger? Deep down, you trust your instinct. Elaine Peck has always been telling you to trust your instincts. You knew for sure he was about to kill the innocent woman who happened to be at the wrong place at the wrong time. But after the hours of interrogation, you're not sure if your instincts were right anymore. You're not sure if you did the right thing anymore. You know telling the SIU officer that you fired based on your instincts is not good enough to get you cleared right away.

Taking another gulp straight from the bottle, you hope the liquid will burn the feeling that has settled deep in your gut right after you pulled the trigger. You don't care if you're going to get suspended, or even get kicked out of the force. You don't care if the man had the intention of hurting the civilian, holding her at gunpoint. You don't care if his initial intention was to rob the store. Right now, you only care about one thing, you just killed someone. You took a man's life away, whether or not if it was the right thing to do.

It doesn't matter if you close your eyes or keep them open. You'd still see the images of what happened. You're still replaying everything in your mind. You'd press play at the beginning, then pause at a certain moment, rewind and replay that moment, and you'll keep up that cycle until the alcohol kicks in at full force. You're hoping it would happen any second now, not sure how much of this torture you can endure.

Warm and familiar hands settle themselves on both your knees, but you don't look up. You want to, but you can't. You know the second you lift your head up to look at her, you'll break. You're barely holding it together, but looking into those brown eyes you love so much will definitely be the breaking point.

You feel those hands move away from your knees to the hand currently clutching tightly to the bottle, trying to pry it away from you. You don't fight those hands. You give in.

You shudder slightly when those smooth and gentle hands touch your cheeks. They don't push your head up to look at the owner of those hands. They wait for you to do it yourself, but you don't. After a minute or so, you still don't. How can you look at the person who deserves everything in the world, who deserves light and joy in her life, to let her see a face so haunted, so dark? You killed someone. And she doesn't deserve to deal with this mess. To deal with you.

Hands stay on your cheek for what seems like an eternity before trailing down slowly to the sides of your neck, to your shoulders, down your arms. Hands that feel calming and inviting, like home. You exhaled a shaky breath, and it was like those hands' cue to pull you up onto your feet. You let them. Still, you don't look up. You let yourself be led into the bedroom and to the foot of the bed.

Tan hands slowly make their way to the bottom of your shirt, pulling it up and over your head with your eyes close. Then they unbutton your pants and slid them down your legs for you to step out of them. In just your tank top and underwear, you're being led to your side of the bed and you lay down as those hands instructed.

You don't face away from her side. With closed eyes, you wait for her to round the bed to the other side. When you feel the bed dip, smell the sweet familiar scent of dark brown hair and feel those hands on your face again, you finally open your eyes.

You were wrong.

You thought all hell would break loose once your blue eyes met her brown ones, that the storm brewing just behind your eyes would hit the both of you hard, but it's the exact opposite. You feel the weight lift off your shoulders and off your chest, but just a little. Thumbs are quick to wipe away your tears. You can see whatever she saw in your eyes, she's feeling it too. This is what you've been dreading. You don't want her to have to deal with this too. When you try to turn away, hands stop you, warm brown eyes pleading with you not to shut her out.

So you scoot closer and rest your head on her chest, hands already wrapping around you and the steady rhythm of her heartbeat already working to erase those images away. At least for now.

And you realize you should've opened your eyes the second you felt her hands on your knees.


	2. Meet the Parents

When Gail and Holly's friends first learned about both of their parents encounters, they all had the same reaction, somewhere along the line of 'that's not possible' or 'you're kidding, right?' Because things definitely did not happen the way both of them hoped it would turn out to be.

After their breakup, Holly moved to San Francisco for her new position at a research facility but that only lasted for four months before she finally realized that losing Gail over a job on the other side of the continent wasn't even worth it and quitting to go back to the woman she loved was the best decision she ever made. So Holly handed in her resignation letter, packed up her stuff and booked the next flight available back to Toronto in hopes that Gail would take her back. And Gail did. With open arms.

Then after three weeks of officially being back together, the monthly Peck family dinner rolled around and Gail thought it would be the right time to finally introduce Holly to her parents. Holly agreed immediately.

Normally Holly wouldn't be nervous about meeting her girlfriend's parents. She was great with parents and people in general, but the fact that Gail's were so high up in the police force with the ability to make or break her career in case she says something silly or does something dumb at the dinner table, Holly couldn't help the nerves from spreading throughout her entire body.

Gail thought Holly's worry of making a great first impression was unnecessary. There was no fault in the brunette's character, she's attractive and a well-established forensic pathologist, writing books and volunteering during her free time. Everybody loves Holly. She's the perfect person to bring home to her parents. Even Traci thought Holly would be putting her to shame as the four of them finally made it to the Peck dinner together. They all agreed that within five minutes of meeting Holly, Elaine would be all over the brunette.

Oh, Elaine was indeed all over Holly.

Just when Gail and Holly thought everything was going smoothly – Holly flashing her brilliant smile with firm handshakes to both Bill and Elaine, showing no signs of her earlier nervousness – Elaine started on her mandatory interrogation whenever any of her children brought their significant others home. But this interrogation, it was different than the rest. Normally she would've start off by asking about Holly's age, place of birth, which schools did she go to, why forensic pathology, where do you see yourself in 10 years, that kind of stuff. But this time it was different. Elaine already did her homework on the brunette and it was so much easier since Holly was working for the Toronto police.

Halfway into Bill's famous homemade casserole, Elaine reached for her glass of wine and Gail knew her mother was about to speak.

"I know all about your degrees, accolades and the books you've written. You're quite an established doctor at such a young age,"

They should be taken aback by Elaine's admission, but Gail already prepared Holly for this. She knew there was a possibility of her mother doing some digging. Gail smirked at her mother's words, she knew Elaine would be impressed by Holly's achievements, but the smirk was gone as quickly as it first appeared.

"But how can I trust that you'll not leave Gail again?"

Elaine could feel everyone at the table froze, Holly's body tensing, her eyes wide. Satisfied with the reaction she'd gotten, Elaine brought the glass to her lips. Sometimes it may not look like Elaine loved her children, that she only cared about their careers and making sure they wouldn't disgrace the Peck name. Yes, all of it was true, but she also cared deeply about their well-being and happiness too, no matter how little it showed to Steve and Gail.

"I love her and I promise it'll never happen again." Holly straightened up and spoke as evenly as she could, even though deep inside she was trembling with fear and uncertainty.

"You say that now…" Elaine continued to sip on her wine.

When Holly failed to answer to that, her mouth shut tight, Gail tried to speak up for her girlfriend but failed miserably as Elaine brought her hand up to stop her daughter. Then she continued.

"I know you're smart, Ms Stewart. So I'm sure there's no need for me to show you our extensive gun collection in the study to prove my point, like I did with Mr Collins. If you ever break my little girl's heart again, I'll make sure the only work you'll get to do is scrubbing of floors at the hospital."

Holly gulped visibly at Elaine's words, at how cool she spoke them and at the slight curve of her lips as she tried to intimidate the brunette. Well, it was a success.

She knew she should stand up for herself, to stand up for Gail, but she decided to live to fight another day. She would never leave Gail and she had the rest of her life to prove it to Elaine. Of course, Holly did just that.

"Yes, Superintendent Peck. I understand." Nodded Holly.

"Just to be clear, if it were up to me, you'd never get your old job back. Poor Patrick and the forensics department have been short-staffed and you're lucky we need all the help we can get."

No one knew at the time, but that was just a tiny threat Elaine managed to squeeze in before dessert was served.

* * *

><p>After dinner that night, both women were shocked at how the night turned out to be, including Steve and Traci. During the ride back to Holly's new apartment, the brunette kept going on and on how much Elaine hated her. Gail had spent the whole night trying to make Holly feel better. At first the brunette declined Gail's advances, but her resolve weakened the second Gail stepped out of her clothes showing off her matching set of navy blue lace lingerie.<p>

The following day, Gail woke up to a still sleeping Holly, completely dead to the world. Usually this time Holly would be up starting off her day in the kitchen with a cup of coffee, but the amount of alcohol she consumed the previous night and the blonde's unrelenting efforts to deliver one orgasm after another left her completely exhausted.

Gail made her way to the kitchen in just her underwear to make some coffee for herself and her sleeping girlfriend. When Holly passed out after her fourth orgasm, Gail laid awake next to the tanned body, thinking about the night that transpired earlier. She should've seen it coming after the way her mother treated Nick the second time she brought him home. Elaine was immediately unimpressed and disappointed in Gail for getting back together with Nick. Gail thought that her breakup with Holly would be a non-issue when comparing the brunette with Nick. Holly might look like an actual angel compared to him. Gail felt bad for putting Holly through Elaine's cutting words.

Just as Gail was about to reach the door of Holly's bedroom, the freshly brewed cup of coffee in one hand, the doorbell rang. Gail groaned softly and turned back towards the stairs and down to the kitchen to place the cup down. The doorbell rang again as Gail rounded the coffee table in the living room to grab one of Holly's hoodie that was lying on the sofa. Doorbell again. Fucking hell, it must be one of Holly's friends. They drop by frequently to check on Holly and to hang out with her. It was probably Boob Job.

Lisa and Gail made nice right after she and Holly got back together. Holly promised Gail that after spending some time with Lisa, she would realize that Lisa wasn't actually that _big _of a bitch, she was just looking out for her best friend, that's all. And Gail understood. She might not agree with Lisa's way of protecting her friends, but Gail knew if something bad happens to one of her friends, having Lisa in your corner would be a good thing. Lisa's ability to withstand and reciprocate snide remarks scored points with Gail too. But the nickname was staying.

Gail barely had time to zip up the hoodie when the doorbell rang for the third time. She jogged to the door and swung it open, ready to scream at Boob Job for her impatience.

"What the fuck Boob Job, can't you wait–"

Gail's hand quickly covered her mouth at the sight of two very confused looking people who looked like Holly's parents. She remembered the tall man with grey hair and the slightly shorter woman with long dark hair just like Holly's in one of the photos she had showed her when they first began dating.

"Oh, hello. You must be Gail. I'm Holly's mom, Angie." The woman broke out into a bright smile and extended a hand for Gail to shake. It reminded her of Holly.

"Uh, y-yes. Nice to meet you, Mrs Stewart."

"And I'm Thomas," Holly's father spoke, confusion still evident on his face.

"Nice to meet you too, Mr Stewart."

They shook hands and stood in awkward silence before Gail finally broke out of her shock. She looked down and immediately blushed as she quickly attempted to zip up the hoodie, fumbling with the zip. After a few tries, Gail's trembling fingers still couldn't work the zip and Angie decided to end Gail's suffering before her head explodes in embarrassment.

"Here, let me help, dear." Angie stepped forward and moved pale fingers away to zip up the hoodie.

"T-thanks." Gail smiled nervously and moved aside. "Please come in, I'll go get Holly."

When Angie and Thomas walked further into the apartment in front of Gail, the blonde silently cursed herself for being such a mess in front of her girlfriend's parents. Holly then showed up, hopping down the stairs fully clothed with an amused look on her face at the sight in front of her. She heard Gail muttered something about going up to the bedroom for some pants and disappearing quickly from the living room.

Gail was sure Holly's parents must dislike her now and she wished she could stay in the room forever, or at least till her parents were gone. Shaking her head to clear her thoughts, Gail put on a pair of pants, took off the hoodie to slip on her bra and a t-shirt and then putting on the hoodie again, just in case.

Gail honestly thought she had made the worst first impression ever, but she didn't. She wouldn't be surprised if that was the case. When she finally came back down, Angie and Thomas welcomed her back with open arms even though she didn't do hugs. Gail was completely at a loss for words at the sudden turn of events, as Angie started going into the kitchen to whip up some breakfast and Thomas plopping down on the sofa to watch the highlights from yesterday's hockey game.

Holly just strolled to her obviously confused girlfriend and wrapped her up in a tight hug, telling her to relax and everything was going to be fine.

By the time Angie and Thomas walked out of Holly's apartment that late afternoon, it was with promises of Gail meeting Angie at the gun range one day to see who the better shooter was and scheduling a dinner date for the four of them at Gail and Thomas's favourite restaurant.

So if you'd ask them about the time they first met each other's parents, you'd probably be surprised that Elaine didn't love Holly right off the bat and Holly's parents absolutely loved Gail the moment she opened the door with no pants on.

And when both Gail and Holly's parents shared their side of the story at the wedding, you'd laugh your ass off too.


	3. Halloween

As much as Gail would love to stay home and have a movie marathon with Holly on her much deserved day off which happened to be on Halloween, her girlfriend had other plans. Every year, Lisa throws a massive Halloween party for '200 of her closest friends' and this year was no exception. Lisa had booked an entire club for her Halloween tradition and Holly was not going to miss it. She loved Halloween and dressing up.

After much persuading in bed, Gail agreed to go on one condition. That they switch roles for their costumes, Gail would go as a doctor and Holly a police officer. They decided to keep their costumes away from each other and work on it individually till the actual day to keep up an air of mystery and suspense.

And nothing could've prepared Gail for the sight of Officer Stewart.

The brunette, clad in the black ensemble, looked absolutely gorgeous and sexy. From the knee high boots and tight pants that fitted her like a glove to the loosely buttoned shirt – with iron-on badges on her upper arm and chest – tied up in a knot just above her belly button, Holly looked incredibly amazing. To top it all off, with the police hat and fake handcuffs, Officer Stewart was welcomed to arrest Gail anytime.

Gail on the other hand, didn't look anywhere as hot and sexy as the brunette. With the scrubs she borrowed from Holly during her med school days, a stethoscope hanging around her neck, a lab coat that was smeared with fake blood and a bloody severed hand peeking out from its pocket. Holly loved it nonetheless.

They almost didn't make it to the party as Gail attempted to strip Holly off of her costume by the front door. She pouted when the brunette stopped her hand from traveling further south, but Holly promised to conduct a thorough body search once they returned from the party.

So here Gail was, stuck at the bar waiting for her drinks to arrive, probably surrounded by snobs and hot shot rich people as Holly went to the washroom. But she got to admit, she was kind of enjoying herself, observing people and silently judging their costume choices.

And Lisa's? The highlight of the night was four incredibly muscled men carrying her Cleopatra ass that was on a golden chaise into the club and putting her down on the stage to get the party started. Lisa's egoistic personality and pompous acts never fail to amaze Gail.

As she waited patiently for the bartender to bring her the two shots of tequila she ordered ages ago, she felt someone standing closely next to her. Thinking it was Holly, the blonde turned around to face her girlfriend with a grin on her face only to be met with a stranger in a slutty nurse costume, barely covering her bits. It was freezing in the club but it doesn't seem to bother the woman. The smile immediately dropped from her face and Gail moved a few inches away from the slutty nurse.

The slutty nurse, however, closed the gap and Gail tried to resist the urge to elbow the woman in the guts.

"You're such a hot doctor, even with a severed hand in your pocket."

"Go away."

"I think we'd make a great team, Dr Hotpants."

As the slutty nurse spoke, the bartender finally placed two tequila shots in front of her and she quickly downed both shots even though the other was meant for Holly. She needed more alcohol in order to survive Slutty Nurse's flirtations. Gail quickly glanced over her shoulder towards the direction of the washroom. Was Holly stuck in the toilet bowl? Geez.

"Go away." Damn it, this women just couldn't take a hint.

"Why don't we go back to my place," Slutty Nurse started to trail a finger up Gail's hand, but the blonde was quick to pull it away. "and I'll make sure to handle all your _instruments_ with care."

Gail rolled her eyes, insults ready to roll off her tongue just as Holly pushed Slutty Nurse away to stand in-between the both of them.

"Get the fuck away from my girlfriend, Megan. I know a hundred different kind of ways to get rid of bodies and dispose of evidence, you know that right?"

Gail couldn't see Holly's face as she was standing behind the brunette, but she knew from the anger in her voice and words that Slutty Nurse Megan definitely got the message and hurriedly walked away from them.

If Nick, Chris or any of her past boyfriends did that, she would be upset and turned off by their attempts of chivalry. She's strong enough to take care of herself, thank you very much. But Holly, when Holly was the one standing up for her, Gail loved it. Normally calm and collected Holly turning into jealous and protective Holly was one of Gail's favourite versions of her girlfriend.

Gail remembered the first time the green eyed monster emerged from Holly. It was at the Penny when a man was hitting on Gail and got upset when she declined his offer to buy her a drink. Holly almost jumped across the table, knocking down a few chairs on her way to the bar to get to Gail. She remembered the brunette putting herself in the middle of Gail and the tall man, like she had just now, warning him to stay away from her girlfriend. The man then insulted both women, calling them 'fucking dykes' and Holly a bitch. It took Gail, Oliver and Steve to physically restraint Holly from jumping the guy. Thankfully, no one was hurt and the man left the Penny with both hands up in the air.

After that, Holly never left Gail's side. Later that night, she spent hours claiming Gail as her own and it was probably the best sex Gail ever had in her entire life.

"Are you okay?" Holly rested a hand on Gail's shoulder, concern evident in her brown eyes.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Gail smiled reassuringly in return.

Then the name Megan rang a bell. "That was Megan, as in _the _Megan who slept with your ex-girlfriend?"

Holly exhaled a sigh, a frown slowly appearing on her face. "Yeah. I didn't know she would be here."

Gail closed the remaining gap between them and pressed her lips on Holly's. The kiss was meant to be reassuring and comforting. Gail rested her forehead against the brunette's for a few seconds before pulling away. She placed a hand on Holly's cheek and looked at her girlfriend.

"Shouting, making threats, clenched jaw, wide eyes, flaring of nostrils. Clearly signs of anger." Gail grinned cheekily. Holly couldn't help but smile in return too.

"Yeah, so what do you advice, doctor?"

Gail pulled Holly flushed against her own body, lips close to the brunette's ear. "I would suggest plenty of bed rest, under my care of course. Preferably naked. Doctor's orders."


	4. Birthday

Gail wakes up alone in the apartment with Dov spending the night at Chloe's and Chris is probably on his way back from his night shift. She goes about her daily routine, showering, getting dressed and making some breakfast before heading into the station.

But today, today is different. Today Gail wakes with a smile on her face without hitting the snooze button even once and by the time she makes it to the kitchen, she has plenty of time to spare. So she takes her time sipping on some coffee and revel in this particularly rare moment of quietness.

She'll go to work and act as if today's not a big deal. She'll go about her own business and bark at her friends and colleagues to do the same too. But secretly, she loves today. Today is her day and she'll celebrate it like she always does ever since working at 15. She'll have a drink or seven at the Penny and then scowl, act irritated and mutter thank yous when her friends give her their well wishes and presents, but deep down she'll appreciate it.

What's different about this time, is that Gail has a loving girlfriend, which adds positivity to this already awesome day. She has someone who loves her for her and someone she loves too. The down side is, her girlfriend is thousands of miles away. But Gail decides to focus on the positive and to not mope around on such a special day. There will be more days like today to spend with one another in the future. Another year and she'll be back for good.

While shoving a mouthful of cereal down, Gail hears the knocking of the door and leaps out of the chair to open it. A courier is standing by the door with a wide smile on his face, greeting her a good morning and handing her a small package with her name on it.

With the package in hand, Gail walks back to the dining table to inspect the box. One look at the writing of Gail's name and address on it and she knows it's from Holly. She gingerly tears the wrapping paper and reveals a blue gift box and a note on top of it. Gail's grin grew about 10 times wider, if that's possible.

She takes the note and unfolds the piece of paper. She heart warms at Holly's messy handwriting.

_Gail,_

_Happy birthday my love, I hope this gets to you on time. I'm deeply sorry I can't spend this special day with you, but know that you'll always be in my heart and I'll always be thinking of you._

_I know you try very hard to act all cool and unexcited about birthdays, but I know you secretly love it. So I hope you'll have an amazing birthday with your family and friends. I'll be back before you know it._

_I love you,_

_Lunchbox_

_P.S. I hope you'll like my gift._

With a watery grin, Gail placed the note on the table and opened the lid of the box. Her breath catches in her throat at the beautiful piece in front of her.

It's a stainless steel Smith & Wesson revolver with a wooden grip. Gail took it out of the box and gripped it firmly in her hand, examining this fine piece of work. It must've cost a fortune! Gail's suddenly excited to try this beauty out at the gun range on her next day off.

Noticing the time on the wall clock, Gail finishes her breakfast and went to her bedroom to keep the gun in her dresser. After sending Holly a lovely text about the gift, Gail's off to work with a huge smile on her face.

* * *

><p>Gail walks into the Penny, not at all surprised by the amount of officers from 15 yelling 'Surprise!' in her face. During work, Andy and Chris had been dropping not so subtle hints of a surprise party after work at the Penny. Instead of calling them out, Gail just goes with the flow and put in a bit of effort to smile and look surprised.<p>

Making her way through the crowd that's yelling their wishes at her and shoving shot after shot in her hands, she spots a familiar brunette standing by the side near the bar. Her fake smile is immediately taken over by a genuine look of surprise and shock.

Gail walks up to her girlfriend, who's smiling that lopsided smile and quickly pulls the brunette into a tight hug.

"Hi." Holly whispers into the blonde's ear.

Gail pulls back, tears threatening to fall from her blue eyes. "What are you doing here?"

"Didn't you read my note? I told you I'll be back before you know it." The brunette smirked.

"How long?"

"Five days."

Gail hugs Holly again, tighter than the last. She's missed her girlfriend so, so much. "Happy birthday, Gail."

Choking back her tears, Gail spoke in a shaky voice. "Best birthday present _ever_."


	5. Best Versions

You lied to Gail and told her that you had to go to the bank, and you did, but it wasn't anything you can't deal with just by a click of your mouse over the computer. You just had to get out of the apartment, away from those walls that Gail so stubbornly refused to get some fresh air and sunlight for. The pit stop at the bar down the street of your shared apartment was an unexpected yet necessary one.

You play with your ring as the bartender pours you a second drink. Memories of your engagement floods your mind. You relive the feeling of your heart threatening to beat out of your chest and the lump forming in your throat as you replay the moment Gail, your _fiancée_, took the small velvet box out of her pocket and in front of your face.

You're pretty sure that day was the best day of your life, both of you the best versions of yourselves, happy, healthy and very much in love. Well, you still are, but it's different now. You're different, and Gail, Gail's most definitely different than she used to be. The beautiful, confident and snarky blonde cop you were supposed to marry was no longer confident and snarky.

You're different now. You're different than the Holly that was planning for her dream wedding. You're different the moment you received the phone call from Oliver. And you don't want to know what if the third time Gail crashed and she hadn't come back to you, how much more different things would be.

You down your second glass of whiskey to wash away those thoughts, the thoughts that are keeping you up at night. You're not sure when's the last time you had a good night's sleep. You look down at your watch before you order a third drink and guilt immediately washes over you at how much time has passed. What if Gail needs help going to the bathroom? Or to get a glass of water? So you place some cash next to your empty glass and quickly make your way back to the apartment.

When you open the door and take a step into the hallway, the sound of the TV playing softly in the living room and the glow from the lamp by the sofa reminds you of the times you've come home after work to find Gail's feet dangling off the arm of the sofa, watching TV while waiting for you to be home. The slight smile from your face drops when you realizes Gail's socked feet aren't hanging off of the sofa.

Maybe it's the alcohol. But after taking a few more steps toward the living room, you're caught off guard, breath catching in your throat by the sight of frail and lean Gail hunched in her wheelchair, head turning away from the TV to face you.

It's been a two weeks since Gail's been discharged from the hospital and two months since the car accident happened, but you're still not used to seeing Gail like this. You're not sure you'll ever get used to it.

"Hey. What took you so long? Was the bank crowded?"

You don't want to lie to her, but the only word that manage to come out is "Yeah."

"I missed you."

Normally your heart would melt when Gail tells you she misses you. The longing in her eyes as she looks into your's, the contentment in her voice as she speaks those words. But now her eyes are filled with fear, her lips trembling and her voice shaky.

Your heart breaks for the millionth time, but you try not to let your face betray your emotions.

"I missed you too. You need anything?" You say it softly, eyes unable to meet hers for a moment.

She brings her arm out, palm facing upwards and fingers trembling slightly, reaching for you. "Come here." Her words sounding like a sincere plea.

You swallow hard and stay rooted to the ground. You haven't moved an inch from where you're standing since you first saw her. "Let me take a shower first."

You move towards the master bedroom, but stops at the faint voice calling out for you. "Please, Hol."

Gail's looking up at you with brows furrowed and watery blue eyes wide with sadness and you simply can't say no to her. You sigh and walk towards her, rounding the wheelchair to sit on the sofa next to her. She takes both your hands in hers and run her thumbs across your knuckles soothingly.

"I love you."

"I love you too." You sigh again, taking comfort in her touch and in her loving words. A single tear trickle down your right cheek, then another, and before you know it you're sobbing like you haven't since the time Gail was in the ICU.

She lets you cry it out, hands still clinging tightly to yours and waits for you to calm down before speaking. And when she speaks, it's the tone that scares you first, then the words.

"You don't have to do this."

You look up and Gail's looking at you with steel blue eyes and a cool look. Her defensive walls coming up so many times since she's been home that you've lost count. The vulnerability and fear from earlier gone from her features.

"What do you mean?"

"You don't have to stay. You can leave."

"What? No!" You're shocked, and you look at her with wide eyes.

"I'm not blind, Holly. I know I'm not easy to deal with. I know this has been hard on you. Your life cannot be on hold because I can't walk and look after myself. You can go, I won't stop you. I can't, not really, anyway." Hands pull away to grip tightly on the armrests of her wheelchair.

Gail's been very temperamental ever since coming back home. Sometimes she'll get upset and lay it on you or shut herself out for a few hours in the bedroom. You know this isn't her fault and you don't blame her for acting this way, but sometimes it's a lot to handle and you, too, wants to scream and lash out. And times like this, Gail just needs a little reassurance and support.

"Yes, you're not easy to deal with, but this is difficult for you and I understand. I really do. And I'm not putting my life on hold, Gail. _You _are _my _life and I wouldn't want to be anywhere but here with you." You reach for her hands again, relief that rather than pulling away and ignoring you like the last time the two of you fought, Gail reciprocates by squeezing your hands in return. "Please know that."

Gail nods, you can almost see her impenetrable walls coming down but she keeps quiet and you continue. "Lastly, you can't walk _yet_, you just need time for recovery and physiotherapy to regain the strength in your legs."

"But I can never be a cop again." This time, it's Gail who cries and you're quick to wipe off the fallen tears.

She's right. Even if Gail eventually gets out of the wheelchair and onto her own two feet, chances are it'll be with the aid of a walking stick and sporting a limp. You want to tell her that that's not true, that the blue runs deep in her veins no matter what, and that she could return to the force as a white shirt like her mother, but everyone knows that's the last thing Gail wants. Gail belongs on the front line and on the streets.

"You can open a restaurant with your famous cheese puffs recipes." That earns a teary laugh from Gail. You smile because it's been long since the last time you heard that laugh you love so much.

"Yeah, I don't think there are lots of people who're as crazy about cheese puffs as I am. Though they should be."

When the laughter dies down and the sombre mood returns, you want to do or say something before the both of you suffocate in the quietness. You love her smiles and laughter and you wish to see it more often from now on.

"Listen to me. You are going to get better, you are going to get out of this wheelchair and after that I don't care if you'd wish to stay home and eat cheese puffs all day. I want to see you walk down the aisle and I want to marry you. Nothing's going to change that, okay?"

Gail nods, and you see a lovely smile appearing on her face again. "Okay."

You meant every word you said, and to know that the two of you are on the same page is enough for now. The road to recovery will be a long and painful one, but Gail's the strongest person you've ever known. She has been through a ton and you're certain she can get through this too. And when those days where she's losing hope – you're sure those days will come – you'll be there to make sure she won't.

Today, today you'll hold onto each other tight, whispering your affections and promises to one another. And tomorrow will be a new day, a new beginning where the both of you will be the best versions of yourselves again.


	6. Popcorn

"Hurry up, the movie's about to start!" Holly called out from the sofa in the living room just as Gail poured the popcorn into a bowl.

"Okay, okay, I'm coming! It's not like we haven't watched this a thousand times, geez."

Gail walked over to the sofa and sat down next to her girlfriend, shoulders and knees touching, with the bowl in the middle of her lap. Gail loved movie date nights in the comfort of Holly's home, and more importantly, on Holly's super comfy sofa. This time it was the brunette's turn to choose the movie and of course she chose Stars Wars.

Holly had a crush on Princess Leia ever since she was old enough to watch the movies. Holly claimed it was love at first sight. And Gail doesn't care if they've watched it a million times. She would be fine with sitting next to Holly for a couple of hours and watching her instead of paying attention to the movie.

That was something Gail did a lot, staring. Staring at people. Staring at blank spaces. Walls. You name it. Gail's friends and family would say that she should kick this habit, but Holly, Holly knew it was more than that. The hamster wheel in Gail's brain was always spinning, it might be nothing of significance or something incredibly important. Like food. Or solving cases. And Holly didn't mind it at all.

She would be more than happy to stare at Holly, observe the way her lips turn up into Gail's favourite lopsided smile, the way her nose scrunches up at times, the frowning of her brows while concentrating on something and the sparkle in her warm chocolate brown eyes behind those glasses. To revel in the closeness with her girlfriend, to remind her of the beauty that is Holly Stewart and to feel the love she felt for the brunette increase and threaten to spill out of her chest. That was what looking at Holly did to her.

Of course, Gail hadn't told Holly of her blossoming feelings.

Gail was so into it that she almost didn't catch Holly's arm reaching into the bowl that was on her lap, but she did.

Her gaze followed the hand that was grabbing a handful of popcorn, then retreating back to her side and munching on the snack while engrossed in the movie. Gail watched her pop the popcorn into her mouth one by one and Holly was oblivious to the blonde's intense staring.

By the time Holly helped herself to a second handful of the blonde's popcorn, Gail couldn't fathom what was happening. More like what _wasn't _happening. If it were other people, Gail would've slapped her hand away and glare at her. But Holly wasn't other people. Holly was far more than that.

But she still couldn't let Holly get away with it.

"Get your own popcorn."

"I just want some." Holly shrugged, eyes still glued to the screen as her hand gathered another handful.

Normally, Holly would make her own snacks, it could be popcorn or some healthy nuts and fruits. Sometimes, she would sit through a movie or two without any snacks at all. This time she just felt like having some of Gail's popcorn.

Gail just sat there motionless, watching Holly finish the last of her third helping of popcorn and reciting a scene along with Princess Leia. Before her brain caught up with her mouth, the words that rolled off of her tongue were smoother than butter.

"I love you."

Gail had been thinking about it for some time, wanting to be sure of her feelings before admitting them, but nothing beats saying it for the first time. Gail truly believed those words the second it came out.

Holly's head whipped to the side to face Gail, eyes wide and the silence between them was deafening. Gail thought her heart would explode and splatter all over the living room as every second passed with Holly sitting next to her, dumbstruck and no response.

Then, between the sounds of R2D2 speaking its droid language in the background and the loud beating of Gail's heart, the brightest of smiles appeared on Holly's face as the brunette finally responded, saving Gail from her embarrassment and the blush on her face to turn even redder than possible.

"I love you, too." Brown eyes shining with adoration.

Before Holly knew what was happening, Gail had already put the bowl of popcorn on the coffee table, switched the TV off and pulled her by her t-shirt into a fiery kiss.

Gail had finally learnt how to share popcorn.

With the right person, of course.


	7. Attention

When the latest instalment of Holly's favourite fantasy book series finally arrived after years of waiting, Holly strode to the bookstore down the street from her apartment in excitement.

So imagine Gail's surprise when Holly returned home an hour later empty-handed with a sad puppy look on her face.

Apparently, her girlfriend went to a few more bookstores to try her luck but gave up after the sixth try. Holly rarely sulks, but when she does, Gail thought it was the most adorable thing she had ever seen. Man, there must be a lot of nerds in Toronto if those books were sold out within hours upon its release.

Gail – trying to score some major girlfriend points and because her lifelong mission is to make her girlfriend happy – called up her cousin Amy, whom the last time she checked was working part-time at a bookstore while she was still in college. When Cousin Amy confirmed that she was still working there, Gail asked her for a favour to hold onto that book when the new stock comes in. Cousin Amy was hesitant at first, because it was against the rules to withhold stock from the customers.

But after Gail explained how her girlfriend was swamped with the triple murders case that was all over the news and hard at work helping the police find the killer that she was too busy to pre-order the latest book from her favourite book series of all time, Cousin Amy relented. But instead of Gail coming over to the store to get it, she would pay for it first and they would meet somewhere else for Gail to repay her. Gail agreed, thanked her sweetly and told her she owed her one (which was settled when Cousin Amy got a speeding ticket shortly after and she helped to get rid of it).

A week later, Gail walked into their apartment with a wide grin on her face and the book in her hand. When Holly greeted her from the kitchen, she threw the book lightly on the counter and the look on Holly's face was priceless. But the sex that followed after was even more priceless. Holly had expressed her gratitude multiple times, on multiple surfaces.

But that was the last time Gail got some and they would never go more than a couple of days without touching each other, unless Holly was out of town.

Ever since the morning after that fantastic night of sex, Holly's hands and face had been glued to the book every chance she got and it was driving Gail crazy. Because quite frankly, the brunette's hands and face should be somewhere else entirely. She was beginning to think maybe it was a mistake getting Holly that book.

It was one of those rare days when the both of them shared the same off day, and Gail was determined to make Holly look up from her book and pay attention to her own girlfriend. So she tried to make it as subtle as possible without making herself seem so desperate for sex.

Gail walked into their bedroom, plopped down onto the comfy bed and switched on the wall mounted TV with the volume on high. After a few minutes, Holly stood up and walked towards the living room, book still clutched firmly in her hands.

After an hour or so, Gail went into the living room looking for her girlfriend.

"I think I'm gonna go hang out with the boys back at the frat house."

Sitting on the sofa with her back towards the blonde and face down into the book, Holly simply muttered "Sure honey, see you later then."

Gail huffed, frustrated, but not willing to give up just yet. She lurked around the kitchen area for a while before taking a beer out of the fridge and walking towards the sofa to sit next to Holly.

This time, Holly looked up, but only for a second. "I thought you were going to meet the boys?"

Gail took a sip from her beer. "Yeah, I changed my mind."

When there was no response, Gail tried again.

"Holly, I'm hungry."

Holly simply muttered into her book. "There are some leftovers from last night. You can heat it up if you want."

_Damn it._ Gail walked into the kitchen again, plotting her next move. While heating up some food using the microwave, an idea came to mind.

"Fire! Fire, Holly! Help!"

Holly barely looked up from the book, only raising her voice a little. "The fire extinguisher is in the kitchen cupboard by the door."

She knew what her girlfriend was trying to do, so she tried not to react to Gail's attempts to get her attention.

Gail had enough of Holly's lack of attention towards her. It had been five days since they last had sex and Gail was determined to fuck and get fucked today. She strode into the living room and in front of Holly.

"Glad to know you're so concerned about my wellbeing. I could've gotten hurt! Do you really wanna see this face all burnt and marred?" said Gail with both hands on her hips.

Holly smiled and pretended to focus on her reading, trying not to giggle at her girlfriend's adorableness. "If there really was a fire, the smoke alarm would've went off."

"Damn it, Holly." Gail took the book out of Holly's hands and threw it on the coffee table. She then proceeded to straddle the brunette, who was taken by surprise by their sudden intimate position.

"Wh-what are you doing?"

Gail pulled her own top over her head and it landed on the floor. Holly swallowed visibly as Gail started to roll her hips toward her. When the blonde reached for Holly's t-shirt, she wasn't met with any resistance by her girlfriend.

Gail's hands travelled from tanned shoulders to the neck and face. Lips merely an inch away from each other. "I want you to touch me. I want you to fuck me. Then once I'm satisfied, it'll be my turn."

Holly shook herself out of her lust-filled haze for a moment to smirk at the blonde. "Why didn't you say so in the first place?"

The book would have to wait.


	8. Never Want to Let Go

_Takes place after 5.03_

* * *

><p>It doesn't matter whether or not they were simply 'not talking' or broken up, the moment Gail had found out about it, she knew she had to go be with her.<p>

Standing in front of the house, Gail wondered if she were ever going to find out from the brunette herself if Rodney hadn't come into 15 to drop off some files.

"Hey Officer Peck, I'm surprised to see you here." Rodney was making his way into the detectives' office when he saw the blonde officer typing away at her desk.

Gail frowned at that. "Uh, it's my job. I'm paid to be here. What are _you _doing here?"

"Just dropping off some files for Detective Nash on behalf of Dr. Stewart. The courier's sick." Rodney lifted the files that were in his hand slightly to show Gail.

Holly was dodging Gail just as Gail was dodging Holly. It wasn't unexpected, but it hurt nonetheless. Gail remained silent, she couldn't help the sudden tinge of sadness that was beginning to form in the pit of her stomach. She cleared her throat and went back to her typing, hoping her silence was a good enough reply for Rodney to leave her alone.

But the young doctor couldn't seem to take the hint. "Work sucks, right? I'm sure you'd be there if you could. I would, too, but I have to be at the lab." Gail looked up, Rodney's words definitely piqued her interest. Rodney continued, "I've sent flowers, but please let Dr. Stewart know I'm sorry for her loss. Mrs. Stewart will be missed by everybody at the lab."

Apparently, Rodney had no idea she and Holly were 'not talking'. It seemed word travels much slower within the forensics department. With a sympathetic smile, Rodney made his way towards the detectives' office, leaving a wide-eyed Gail to her own thoughts.

_Shit. _Gail felt a lump in her throat as she quickly fished out her phone from her pocket, pale fingers flew across the screen.

**_I heard. Where are you?_**

She knew she shouldn't assume her presence was needed after how they ended things, but at that moment, it wasn't the time to beat around the bush. If Holly didn't want her there, she would go back to her work. But she knew she wouldn't be able to focus for the rest of her shift. What seemed like an hour really was just two extremely long minutes before her phone buzzed in her hand.

Holly did want her there.

Gail quickly got up and looked at the Staff Sergeant's office. Oliver was in there having his late lunch, she jogged up the stairs and into the glass office. Oliver, as understanding as always, immediately gave Gail the rest of the day off. Gail's gratitude was barely heard as she was already halfway out the door after getting Oliver's approval. But he stopped her.

"Wait!"

Gail doubled back. "What is it?"

Oliver reached for his car keys and threw it at her. "Here. I know you don't have a car. Don't worry about returning it tonight, I'll have Sam drop me off and I have tomorrow off."

"Thank you, Oliver." Gail smiled sincerely and for a second she almost wanted to round the desk to hug him. She would, but the whole precinct would see it.

"No problem, kiddo." Oliver sat back down and continued with his lunch.

Within 15 minutes after leaving the station, Gail made it to the address given by Holly. The house was in a nice and quiet neighborhood in the city. Stepping onto the front porch, she could see people, drinks in one hand, talking and walking around through the windows. Gail took a deep breath before letting herself into the warm and welcoming home.

She had never been here, but she knew by the address that this was Holly's childhood home. Holly once mentioned that she grew up in the area and her mom was still living here.

That had led to conversations about her parents. Gail knew Holly's father died of a heart attack when she first got into university and from what she knew, Holly's mother was a healthy and cheerful woman at the age of 63.

Gail glanced around in search of the brunette. In truth, she was terrified and nervous. She never had a boyfriend who've lost a loved one while they were together. Gail wasn't sure if Holly could still be considered as her girlfriend given the circumstances, but it was close enough.

She hadn't done this before. How should she act? What should she say? Was she supposed to cry? Or keep it light? When she finally laid eyes on Holly, would the brunette be a mess? Or would she put on brave face in front of everyone? Multiple scenarios flew through her mind on her drive over.

It looked to be a reception. It was a solemn occasion, of course, but there was a slightly more positive energy than a wake. Gail looked around, the brunette nowhere to be seen. So she ventured upstairs.

On the wall along the stairs were framed photos of the Stewart family. Festive occasions, birthdays and several Gail assumed to be of Holly as a toddler to a teenager. Gail smiled. From the photos, Mrs. Stewart looked beautiful. Gail now knew where Holly's trademark smile came from. It was obvious that the Stewarts were a loving family. That Holly was loved.

Reaching the landing, Gail saw three closed doors and one opened, which led to the bathroom. Deciding to try her luck, she went for the door on the right side of the house. Upon knocking, Holly's voice was heard at the other end of the door.

"Who is it?"

"It's me, Gail." The blonde swallowed.

Within seconds, the door slowly opened, revealing the brunette with eyes cast downward. Gail stepped into what seemed like Holly's old room and heard the door close and lock behind her.

Rooted to the ground, Gail watched as Holly walked past her towards the bed and sitting down.

"How did you find out?"

Holly sounded calm and not at all like someone who lost her mother. Gail didn't know what to make of it, but decided to go with the flow. Gail had questions, but that would have to wait for a better time.

"Rodney came by to 15 to deliver some files," Gail shrugged. "He told me to tell you he's for your loss and Mrs. Stewart will be missed by everybody at the lab."

Holly chuckled softly at that. "Mom used to drop by at work every now and then with homemade cookies. Rodney loved them."

The pleasant silence that took over the room lasted less than a minute before the sound of Holly taking in a shaky breath echoed loudly in the room and into Gail's chest.

"I'm sorry, Hol."

The brunette returned with a weak smile, not trusting her ability to form steady words right now, not with Gail standing within a few feet from her. When Holly received Gail's text, she wasn't sure what to feel. By the time of the reception and Gail's message, she was numb by everything she had been feeling ever since the news of her mother's death. She might have shed some tears, but truth be told, Holly was trying to keep it together. But now with Gail in front of her, those feelings were back tenfold. And before she knew it, her shoulders were shaking, loud choking sobs were rising from her throat and tears were beginning to flow freely down her cheeks.

She couldn't see through her tears, but she felt warm arms enveloping her into a tight hug. Fingers threading through her hair. Whispers of comfort into her ears.

Gail's heart broke for the woman crying in her arms. Tears were rolling down her cheeks silently as she tried her best to soothe the brunette's unbearable pain.

All Gail could do was whisper "I'm sorry" over and over into dark brown hair and hold on tight, never wanting to let go like she did that many weeks ago.


	9. Golly Songfic Challenge

**Golly Songfic challenge on tumblr - shuffle current playlist, pick the first 5 songs that comes up and write a 100-500 words fic based on each song.  
><strong>

* * *

><p><strong>A Little Death – The Neighbourhood (Rated M)<strong>

_Touch me, yeah  
>I want you to touch me there<br>Make me feel like I am breathing  
>Feel like I am human, again<em>

It wasn't gentle or relaxed, neither was it quiet and tender. It was loud explosions, and quick eruptions and amazing, colourful fireworks. You knew this wasn't the place for it, but you couldn't wait for her touches and the lust-filled hunger the both of you were feeling easily drowned out the incessant knocking on the door.

She didn't even give you the chance to undress her so you could feel her tanned, smooth skin against yours. Once the door was locked, your clothes were stripped off at lightning speed but you weren't complaining either.

A strong arm pinned your wrists over your head, while the other sneaked between the both of your hot and tense bodies to where you yearned to be touched most. You heard a low growl from her and you could basically feel the wetness pooling in your aching core.

The only piece of clothing left on your body was the thin, and incredibly wet fabric which did nothing to cover the evidence of your desire for her.

But there was no time to waste and all the time in the world.

Using her knee to spead your legs apart, she flicked the offending fabric to the side and pushed into you, and even though your eyes were closed amidst the delicious intrusion of her fingers, you were confident she was wearing that smirk of hers as she felt how wet you were for her. You tried to stop the stream of curses everytime she thrusts into you hard and just right, but failing miserably so.

Then she closed the remaining distance between the two of you and breathed warm shuddering breaths onto your sensitive neck. At that moment, you thought you would be gone, but when her tongue and teeth made contact with your rapidly pounding pulse point and with a hard thrust and a flick of her thumb, euphoric screams came out of your throat on its own and you clutched onto her as tight as humanly possible.

She held you up against the wall as you began to slip into unconsciousness, peppering your face with soft kisses and whisperings of affection. But at the same time, you had never felt as alive as you were in that second right before darkness and fatigue took over your mind and spent body.

* * *

><p><strong>Young Blood – The Naked and Famous<strong>

_We're only young and naive still  
>We require certain skills<br>The mood it changes like the wind  
>Hard to control when it begins<em>

Sometimes you think back to the time when the both of you first started dating, and you'd shake your head and smile at your actions and hers. How young and stupid you both were, how the concept of being madly in love was such a foreign matter, even for the seasoned lesbian at the time. Granted, everything was moving too fast and too soon for you and Holly to grasp and before you know it, you ran at the first sign of trouble and didn't look back till it was too late.

The two of you dived head first into this undefined, yet intense relationship with unmentioned hopes and expectations. When you finally learned and understood the importance of communication is key, it was a lesson you paid a hefty price to learn.

You prayed to the Gods you've never really believed in that when you're finally given a second chance to make this right with the woman you love, you'd take it in a heartbeat.

But for now, you'll let it go. You'll let her go.

Because you believe when the final chapter of the book comes to an end, she and you will fall back in love eventually.

* * *

><p><strong>Royals - Lorde<strong>

_And we'll never be royals  
>It don't run in our blood<br>That kind of lux just ain't for us  
>We crave a different kind of buzz<br>Let me be your ruler, you can call me Queen Bee  
>And baby I'll rule (I'll rule I'll rule I'll rule)<br>Let me live that fantasy_

The longer your relationship with Holly continues to flourish, the more certain you become about one thing – you're going to marry her and spend the rest of your life with her. You never knew how much you liked domesticity until you guys found a comfortable rhythm in your lives. Date nights and stay home Sundays and breakfast in beds. But the one thing you're even more certain about marrying Holly, is living a life without the white shirt politics and Elaine Peck's mandatory guide to success (of being a cold, allergic to happiness woman, or whatever you want to call it).

Before Holly, you only had one goal. To please your mother and do whatever she says. Go to Police Academy, check. Graduate top of your class, check. Become a cop, check. Sit up straight, check. Call your hairstylist to set up an appointment because your roots are showing, check.

Then Holly came strolling into your crime scene (or hers depending on who you ask) and the perspective you had on your pathetic life changed dramatically and you wouldn't have it any other way. Holly showed you how to be content and satisfied with the smaller things in life, and to not take them for granted. To be open and free, yet modest and extraordinary. She's taught you that vulnerability isn't always a bad thing.

So now, if your mother asks you to do things her way, the answer is clear as day: no.

Go to dinners to rub shoulders with fellow white shirts, no. Make friends and connections with higher ups, nope. Stop wearing those hideous leather jackets and ripped jeans and combat boots, fuck no. Become a white shirt like her parents, no fucking way.

Now all you want to do is marry Holly, buy and live in a quaint little house with Holly and maybe, possibly, have disgustingly cute babies with Holly. You don't want to be a white shirt, buy a mansion and host exclusive dinner parties like your parents. You don't want to go to your monthly golfing sessions with the city's politicians. You don't want to be on TV and the papers. You don't crave that life and you never will.

You just want a perfectly normal and happy life with Holly Stewart.

* * *

><p><strong>Safe House – The Boxer Rebellion<strong>

_Eyes wide open  
>Up in front me, see the world as though I'd never seen her before<br>And I scream aloud that I've found my home  
>That I won't be lonely anymore<em>

You're staring at the slumbering beauty next to you, eyes scanning her perfectly sculpted features, traveling down her long neck and bare chest to her toned stomach right before the rest of her body remain hidden underneath the sheets. Then you look at her hand, at the ring that's sparkling in the darkness of the room on your wedding night.

And she's never looked more beautiful than she does now, with her dark tousled hair and plump parted lips and the gentle rise and falls of her chest.

It was late when the party finally ended and the alcohol stopped flowing, the two of you completely drained and ready to crash once you reach the bed. But as she held your hand and walk you to your suite, your initial exhaustion was overtook by desire, by how much you wanted to devour your newly wedded wife.

_Wife._

You bring your own hand up to inspect your ring. You smile at that and you're certain if you smile any harder, your face is going to break.

Not for the first time since this morning – since the brunette said yes, actually – your heart feels like it's going to beat out of your chest. You're filled to the brim with so much contentment, satisfaction and gratefulness that you're sure anymore feelings and it might all topple over and you'd become a melted puddle of ooey-gooey mess.

You wish to wake your beautiful love and run out of the hotel room with her in tow, to let the whole world know that this amazing woman is yours and you're hers. But you'll settle for doing a victory dance in your head and try to squash down these crazy thoughts at 4am.

Three years ago if someone were to ask if you believed in marriage and being in love, you would've scoffed at their face, because if Gail Peck wasn't girlfriend material, what makes you think she would be capable of love and worthy of being somebody's wife?

Well, she is now.

* * *

><p><strong>Day Too Soon – Sia<strong>

_Now I've been running all my life  
>I ran away, I ran away from good<br>Yeah, I've been waiting all my life  
>You're not a day, you're not a day too soon<em>

She's back. She's back for good.

You've been dreaming of this day ever since she left for San Francisco. You've dreamt about this, fantasized about your epic reunion. You've told yourself if she's ever coming back, coming _to you_, you'd never run away from the most amazing person you've ever met again.

Now that she's actually here, you can't quite believe it. Her bags are on the ground by your door and she's standing right in front of you, staring back into your own eyes. She looks tired, but still devastatingly beautiful. Your heart clench as you're having trouble forming words.

Then you see tears pooling in her eyes, threatening to fall but you're still trying to get rid of the lump that has formed in your throat.

"I love you."

You're not sure who said it, but you know the both of you meant it.

Then you finally take that one step that was needed to close the gap between the both of you and envelop her into a crushing hug. She's whispering 'I'm sorry' and 'I've made a huge mistake' as you breathe in the familiar scent that is so distinctly _her_, and tears spill down your cheeks at how much you've missed it, missed _her_.

She told you not to wait for her but you knew you were going to do it anyways, because she's worth the wait. Your friends and family told you not to wait for her, but you do it anyways, because there's no one else for you but her, and you know it deep in your bones, in your guts.

Just like how you know she'll come back to you, not a day late, not a day soon.


	10. New Year's Eve

Instead of being at a fancy party drinking expensive champagne with her beautiful girlfriend, Holly was stuck at the morgue. For the first time in probably forever, she was feeling pretty upset about doing her job.

Ever since the day Holly Stewart met Gail Peck, her world had been turned upside down. The once workaholic and career-driven – still true till this day, but not as much as it used to be anymore – doctor had been reduced to a smitten and lovesick puppy in a span of almost a year. And she wouldn't change a thing.

As an effort to be a lovely boss and as a kind gesture to her colleagues, Holly decided to take up the job of being the on-call forensic pathologist for the rest of the night, while everyone else was free to go party and enjoy their night.

Who knew, being the responsible one gets you messy disassembled body parts which would take hours of putting it back as close to one piece as she could to examine it and find out the cause and time of death. Why couldn't the killer chop them up _after _New Year? She wanted to go to the party, sneak into Gail's old bedroom and have their own little private countdown party on the balcony, damn it. The only consolation was that Steve was in charge of the case, which meant he would be celebrating the New Year without his girlfriend, too.

Of course, when she had to tell Gail about the high chance of missing the party, the blonde shot her a disapproving look and a few harmless jabs about abandoning her with her mom and dozens of white shirts and civil servants on New Year's Eve. It was bad enough that her brother had to miss it because of the case. But Holly, too? Worst New Year's Eve party _ever_.

Gail contemplated giving it a miss too, or sneaking out early to accompany Holly at the morgue or assist Steve at the precinct, maybe even calling up her friends, anywhere but the Peck party. So imagine Gail's surprise when Elaine actually gave her the OK to leave the party, but not without making a scene out of it too.

Holly heard soft knocks by the door and without putting her tools down, she looked over and was utterly stunned by her girlfriend's presence.

"Hey, beautiful." Gail was leaning by the door frame trying to look undisturbed by the scene in front of her. Holly with blood all over her gloved hands and disgusting body parts on the table.

"Gail, what are you doing here?" Holly put down her tools, removed her gloves and walked over to the blonde with a wide smile on her face. What a pleasant surprise. _Wow. _Gail was in a form fitting maroon dress and her favourite leather jacket. She looked incredibly gorgeous and not for the first time that evening, Holly was feeling a little sad about missing the party. Holly then placed her hands on Gail's lower back over the thickness of the jacket.

When Gail and Holly first started dating, it took her a while to get used to her girlfriend's job. One second the doctor would be holding someone's brain in her hands, and then the next said hands would be placed on Gail's own pale ones. As a cop and a fan of the morbid, she was used to it by now and couldn't care less.

Gail held up one of her hands that was holding onto a bag of food. "Brought you some food from the party. Superintendent Peck's orders and I figured you must've skipped dinner too."

"Oh, so you're here under orders? I thought you snuck out because you missed me or something." Holly leaned in, and she could feel Gail smiling into the kiss.

"Nah, I was having too much fun to leave." Gail rolled her eyes and continued "Of course I missed you. And also because Mother practically yelled 'Honey, you should bring some food over to your hardworking girlfriend, she must be tired and hungry and could use a break from being one of Toronto's best Senior Forensic Pathologist.' loud enough for everyone in the house to hear. I couldn't say no." Gail mimicked her mother's words and shrugged, earning a laugh from the brunette.

Gail was absolutely relieved when she brought Holly home with her one night for their mandatory Peck family dinner and her parents immediately liked her girlfriend, especially Elaine. A little too much, in fact. Gail was beginning to get a bit jealous when her mom took Holly out for lunch once, but immediately shook off the jealousy and began to feel grateful that Holly was getting along so well with her family.

"Well, you're very kind. Thank you." Holly leaned in for another kiss.

"So, think you can take a break?" Gail asked once they broke apart.

"Of course. Let me go to the washroom first and I'll meet you in my office."

Holly took off her lab coat, but before Gail could reach across the hallway to her office, she pulled the blonde around by her waist, bodies leaning against one another. "You look beautiful tonight."

Gail blushed at the compliment and muttered a soft thanks before kissing Holly's cheek and walking away towards the office. Holly smiled adoringly at how shy Gail could get whenever the brunette says something like that. It was cute.

When Holly got out of the washroom and into her office, Gail had already laid out a variety of food on the table, waiting for Holly. It looked amazing and tasted even more amazing, Gail made sure it wasn't leftovers, but straight from the stoves and oven. Perks of hiring private chefs and caterers.

Gail watched on as Holly ate, moaning at the deliciousness every once in a while and mumbling something about missing dinner. She took this moment to quickly process the ups and downs that happened in both their lives this year, how Holly ended up staying in the city, staying _with her_, getting promoted recently to Senior Forensic Pathologist, her unwavering support when Gail studied for her detective exams and earned the spot, and the adoption. How Holly agreed to continue being in Gail's live after her decision to adopt Sophie and how she was there for Gail when the adoption didn't go through. It was a dark time for Gail, but it could be a lot worst if Holly hadn't stood by her the whole time. Gail didn't know how or why she deserved the nerdy, weird and beautiful brunette, but she knew she would spend the rest of her life making Holly Stewart happy.

Gail's thoughts were interrupted by the vibration of her phone. She took it out of her jacket pocket, only to see it was finally midnight. She smiled and turned her phone towards Holly, who was still stuffing food in her mouth. The woman must be starving.

"Hey, Hol," Gail called affectionately.

Holly swallowed and chased the food down by drinking from her bottle of water. When she was done, she turned around to look at Gail. "Yeah?"

"It's midnight." Gail moved the phone closer to the brunette.

"Oh," Holly put down her fork and smiled. "Happy New Year, sweetie."

"Happy New Year…" Gail mumbled and widened her eyes when Holly reached for her fork again. _That's it?_ Holly paused her movements at Gail's voice. "You better kiss me right now or I'm leaving."

Without warning, Holly grabbed at the lapels of Gail's leather jacket, pulling her in for a crushing kiss and Gail could taste the sweet chocolate from Holly's dessert, making her melt into the kiss.

When they finally pulled away from each other breathlessly, eyes closed and foreheads touching, Holly broke the peaceful silence. "Happy New Year, Gail. I love you."

Gail blew out a shaky breath, before opening those magnificent blue eyes to gaze into Holly's warm brown ones. "I love you, too."

Nothing beats kissing Holly Stewart right then, even if there was a disassembled body waiting to be pieced back together across the hallway from them.

* * *

><p><strong>Happy New Year :)<strong>


	11. Unplug

_Angsty fic. Consider yourself warned._

* * *

><p>Gail shut her eyes as tight as possible, hoping when she opens them in the next three seconds, she would be back home, in her bed, in the arms of the woman she loved and realize that this was all but a dream – or nightmare.<p>

But no. When she opened her eyes, she was still standing there next to Holly's hospital bed, the tears on her cheeks stung, reminding her of the harsh reality. If the sight in front of her wasn't heart-breaking enough, the realization when Gail's fingers travelled down the tanned arm and scarred face that Holly wasn't responding to her touch – would never respond to her touch – was enough to kill her.

Gail was suddenly reminded of all those times Holly would hold onto her tight, whispering words of prayers, wishing for Gail to return home to her in one piece, no matter how battered or bruised that one piece may be. How worried Holly gets the moment Gail steps out of the house and might never come back home.

Who knew the one to end up on a hospital bed brain dead, would be Holly.

_Brain dead_. When the doctors told her that there was absolutely nothing they could do to save her girlfriend, that she should contact her family and ask them to come say goodbye, she was in denial. Because a couple hours earlier Gail was on the phone with her making dinner plans. How could Holly be brain dead in a matter of hours?

Then feelings and emotions escalated and before she knew it, Gail was outside of the hospital, kicking over bins and pounding at concrete walls. Why Holly? Why her sweet, beautiful and smart, who deserved the best Holly? If this was God's way of preventing Gail from being happy, then that was one sick way of showing it. Gail should've known. At the end of the day, everybody leaves her. Gail Peck was destined to live alone and die alone.

Now, taking a seat next to Holly's bed, Gail wasn't sure how she has not completely broken down in her own tears by now. The feeling of her stomach turning upside down and almost throwing up when she first heard the news. The hysterical phone call with Holly's parents. How Holly's mother screamed and cried and struggled to regain composure. The way those high pitched screams caused her hair on the back of her neck to stand on end. She was pretty sure that moment when Chris and Andy appeared at her front door with a grave look on their faces would be imbedded into her brain forever

Gail was secretly glad that Holly's parents were not in town and promised to take the next available flight back home from Vancouver. It meant that she'd have more time with Holly, and also because she doesn't know how she'd look them in the eye. How was she going to tell Thomas and Angie Stewart that their only child got into an accident because she was on her way home from getting takeout at Gail's favourite restaurant? That Gail whined about Vegan Wednesday and how badly she wanted real food and not some pathetic tofu burger, how Holly decided to drive across town to surprise Gail with her favourite food when all her sweet, sweet girlfriend wanted was for her to eat healthier?

_I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry._

At first when Gail learned that Holly was brain dead and not _dead_ dead, she desperately clung onto the tiniest shred of hope that her girlfriend would miraculously open her eyes and smile that lopsided smile and kiss her like no tomorrow. She wanted to beg and make pleas with God for Holly to wake up, and in exchange Gail would do anything. She would move mountains and part seas. But she knew that wasn't how things worked. Holly's body may be warm to touch, but it was the machines keeping her 'alive'. In no scientific ways would a brain dead patient ever recover.

Gail let out a broken and soft laugh at that. Ever since being with Holly, she had learned a vast amount of scientific and trivial facts about anything and everything. The fact that Holly was brain dead broke Gail's already broken heart into tinier pieces. Gail remembered those nights when Holly couldn't fall asleep and how she would press her lips softly on her girlfriend's temple and whisper to her to _shut that brain of yours before it stops working_.

Funny how that turned out.

Gail felt a warm and familiar hand on her shoulder, squeezing slightly in comfort. She didn't have to turn to know who it was, but she didn't turn around because one firm and comforting squeeze of Steve's hand was enough for Gail to choke out loud sobs that echoed across the room and into her brother's heart.

They stayed like that – Steve's hand on her shoulder occasionally squeezing hard when those sobs became too much to handle – for a while before Gail's sobs reduced to steady streams down her cheeks. Unwilling to break contact with Holly's hand, she wiped them away in an attempt to stop the tears from flowing and turned around to give her brother a side hug and a broken and grateful smile.

Over Steve's shoulder, she caught sight of her friends and colleagues standing outside of Holly's room. Instead of being embarrassed that she just broke down in front of them and God knows how long they were all standing there for, to know that they were there for her, for _Holly_, was enough to send her back into her earlier spiral.

When Holly's parents arrived, Gail had been expecting anger and hostility towards her. Gail swore to take care of their daughter, and she felt like she had broken the promise. Not only was she a disappointment to her parents, she was a disappointment to Holly's too. And watching Angie kissing her daughter's forehead and Thomas stroking her tanned fingers, Gail couldn't help the words spilling from her lips.

_I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry._

But Thomas and Angie simply scooped her up into a warm hug, a strong hand stroking her back comfortingly and a motherly voice shushing her painful, broken words.

It felt like it was only an hour ago when Holly was brought into the hospital. She had no idea how much time had passed, but it was time.

It was time to say goodbye.

So Gail leaned over Holly's still body and laid her head on her chest. She struggled a moment to hear Holly's heartbeat, but when she did, Gail clung onto her shoulders desperately trying to capture the moment and seal it into her brain. Listening to Holly's beating heart was one of her favourite pastimes, it reminded her of what she was fighting for and who she was living for.

She felt strong, steady hands on her own shoulders pulling her away before the medical staff moved forward to do their job. To unplug the machines. But there was so much more left unsaid, like how much she loved Holly and will continue to do so, how she knew Holly had found the ring she bought a few months ago but decided to say nothing and how she wished she shouldn't have waited all along.

The constant beeping was tuned out as Gail stood there, a hand holding Holly's and the other trailing all over her beautiful face. The longer she stood there, watching what was left of her girlfriend's life drain from her, the longer she had to reminisce about their relationship. Even if she knew Holly's life would end here, Gail would give up everything she had just to experience this little slice of happiness Holly had given her over the past few years.

The only thing she would change was how she handled things. How she shouldn't have been such a brat sometimes. When they fought and argue and how Gail would sometimes stomp out of the house and return hours or even a day later, but Holly would always be there when she returned to say those same words every single time –_ I will always love you and wait for you to come home. _

At that moment Gail knew, Holly wasn't leaving her. She may not be there anymore, but Gail would always feel Holly deep within her skin and bones and her heart. Holly's love and presence were as palpable emotionally as it were physically.

Holly would always love Gail and wait for her to come home.


	12. Plus One Forever

Gail stood by the bar and wondered why she wasn't home. Oh, right, because Traci promised her 50 bucks if she stayed through the whole thing. And also because open bar, duh. As she downed the rest of her champagne, Gail was reminded of the last wedding she attended. Frank and Noelle's, where she had a beautiful plus one, unlike this time.

Gail would never publicly admit that the ceremony was moving and romantic, especially when Sam and Andy exchanged their vows. _Finally_, Sam decided to end their will they or won't they tug o' war of love by putting a ring on it.

Ever since stepping into the venue, Gail couldn't stop thinking of Holly. That silly Macarena dance, giggling like schoolgirls right before the ceremony, drunken shenanigans in the coatroom. Not to mention _the _kiss that set everything in motion. And how whipped was Gail, handing over a five at the sight of Holly's magical head tilt. Gail shook her head slightly as a soft albeit painful smile appeared on her lips.

Every time her mind drifted to Holly, it tugged at her heartstrings. It had been almost a year since Gail last saw her – the night before she left the city where fantastic sex occurred and tears were shed – but the wound was still fresh. Gail's belief that time heals all wounds were beginning to falter. Every single day her heart clenches in pain and some days it gets worst, especially this day.

Gail wondered if Holly was having trouble getting over her like she was. _Pfftt_, of course not. She was living in a great city doing amazing work. Probably having a blast, making friends, dating… Gail shook her head in an attempt stop her train of thought.

Gail wasn't sure why on Earth Traci would think keeping her here with all these happy and caring people would do her any good. It was disgusting. She just wanted to get drunk and go home. But Traci was trying to be a good friend and Gail was thankful for that.

She reached over the counter when the bartender wasn't looking and stole a bottle of champagne before sneaking away to hide somewhere far enough so she wouldn't be able to hear Chloe's high-pitched squealing one more time. Gail was this close to breaking a bottle over her head.

Of course the room Gail had chosen to hide in was the coatroom. Sliding down the wall and onto the floor, she let out a slightly loud bitter laugh and brought the bottle to her lips. Her heart clenched tightly in her chest for the hundredth time that night but that only encouraged her to take a few more gulps of the bubbly liquid.

Gail sat there in silence, head down waiting for the alcohol to kick in, to do its usual job of numbing the feeling of her heavy thudding heart and temporarily erasing all thoughts of Holly from her mind.

When she heard a soft and familiar 'Hey', Gail thought it was just her fuzzy mind playing tricks on her. Because no way on Earth, or hell, would Holly be there in front of her. The alcohol must be doing its magic. Yeah, that was probably it. Gail was dreaming and making things up. Man, she must be going crazy.

"No Gail, you're not going crazy and you're not imagining things."

Gail immediately snapped her head up at the familiar voice, eyes filled with shock and brows knitted together in disbelief, her head spinning at the sudden movement.

She shook her head, which made the spinning worst. "You're not real. I'm drunk."

"Yes, I am real and yes, you are drunk." The brunette took a tentative step towards Gail, her lips falling into its signature lopsided smile which caused Gail's heart to almost leap out of her chest.

"No, you… Where… Wh-what are you doing here?"

The look on Gail's face was priceless. This moment alone was worth returning for. Holly's smile only grew bigger and her brown eyes twinkled in the dimly-lit room before answering Gail. "Well, you needed a last minute plus one and it turns out, I'm still all about growing these days."

Gail couldn't believe it. Holly was here. At Sam and Andy's wedding? How did she know… "Oh that sneaky little…" She didn't bother finishing her sentence. They both knew who did this. It was Traci.

Holly held out her hand offering it to Gail who took it hesitantly, still not quite believing her own eyes. Holly Stewart came back for her.

When Gail stood up, wobbling a little, she looked into Holly's eyes as her own watered at the overwhelming emotions rushing through her entire body. The weariness in her bones replaced by a sudden urgency to kiss those lips she missed so much, the sinking feeling in her stomach now filled with butterflies.

Gail wanted to kiss her, to kiss her for all she was worth. But she needed to know one very important thing first.

"How long?"

"For good." Holly nodded and Gail blinked.

"What about San Francisco?"

Holly stepped further into Gail's personal space, and Gail had to remind herself to breathe at the proximity. "Worst city ever. No snow, no Tim Horton's and most importantly, no hot blonde cops that cut their hair off in my bathroom."

Gail felt Holly wrap her arms around her waist, pulling her closer and tears finally spilled onto her cheeks. "Are you sure?"

Holly tilted her head toward Gail's until their foreheads touched. They both sighed at the contact and Holly brought a hand up to wipe the tears off Gail's left cheek. "Yes. One hundred percent sure. I'm sorry it took so long. I'm sorry for ever leaving, thinking I would move on from you. I was wrong, so _so_ wrong." Gail leaned into the soft and warm palm, revelling in the touch. "But I'm here now. I don't want this job if it means I can't be with you. You're all I need."

Holly had quit her job and came back to be with her. All her life, Gail had been told that she wasn't good enough, not worthy enough. She wasn't girlfriend material. She wasn't a good person. She wasn't needed. But then Holly came into her life and showed her that all she had to do was peel off those layers of insecurity to get to the good. The core of her very being. All she needed was time.

"I love you, Lunchbox."

Holly laughed heartily in the quiet coatroom, and it was like music to Gail's ears. "I love you too, Gail. Plus one forever."

Without wasting any more time, Gail leaned in closing the rest of the gap between them, noses brushing and foreheads touching. The second their lips touched, Gail saw stars behind her eyelids. They stood there, lips gently caressing one another as if time froze and the Earth stopped rotating on its axis. They kissed like they had all the time in the world. Holly could taste the sweetness of the champagne on Gail's lips and the saltiness of their tears and God, she never wanted to stop kissing Gail.

Ultimately, Holly broke both of them out of their blissful trance. She pulled Gail towards the door, it wasn't the time or place to venture any further. She wanted to congratulate the newlyweds and thank Traci for her help.

"How about some dancing?"

But Gail had other plans. She pulled Holly in the opposite direction of the ballroom. "Fuck dancing, I'm taking you home."


	13. Wildest Moments

_Inspired by the song "Wildest Moments" by Jessie Ware._

_You and I – blurred lines  
>We come together every time<br>Two wrongs, no rights  
>We lose ourselves at night<em>

It's late and you're exhausted. But you can't bring yourself to give in to sleep. You pull the soft, comfy sheets up to your chest and look over to the large window panels of the spacious loft. Street lamps, headlights and illuminated buildings are blanketing the city like sparkly, twinkling dust. San Francisco is even more beautiful at night.

But nothing beats the sight of the slumbering brunette next to you.

She's sleeping soundly on her stomach, face hidden by thick wavy hair, the expanse of her back exposed to you and you're trying your hardest not to run your fingers over the smooth skin.

You bring both hands up to your face and through your short blonde hair, trying to wipe the fatigue off and convince yourself that this isn't a mistake.

It probably is, because most of the times when you make rash decisions based on your impulses, it leads to incredibly dumb mistakes and serious repercussions. You're not a very impulsive person – you'd like to think you're not – always thinking twice, thrice before making any decisions. You calculate and predict and evaluate consequences to your actions, how they would affect the people around you and yourself. You're told to follow rules and strike when the timing is just right. And it's been helpful so far, so you know when the rare chances that you'd act based on feelings and recklessness, they're probably mistakes you'd have to pay dearly. Just like hopping onto a plane for San Francisco.

You don't know what made you do this, but you know hate flying and the warm, sunny weather of the city during summertime. You also know it has been months since you last saw her back in Toronto, and how things ended between the two of you the last time she came back to see you. It seemed like the usually wise and thoughtful doctor had the same idea as you did today, flying back unannounced to see you back then.

_Baby in our wildest moments  
>We could be the greatest, we could be the greatest<br>Baby in our wildest moments  
>We could be the worst of all<em>

You remember that night like it was yesterday. How you fucked and fought and cried, how you resolved and defined nothing about your relationship (or lack thereof) that night, only parting with a kiss and an embrace and painful whisperings of see you _soons_ and _goodbyes_, with no telling of how soon is soon.

During the plane ride over here, you had hours to think about your sudden decision to see her, how she would react, if she'd slam the door in your face or tell you she's seeing someone. On your way to her place, you had to resist the urge to ask the driver to turn back around, to drag your sad, sorry ass back to Toronto.

You didn't know what you were trying to accomplish, showing up unannounced at her doorstep. Did you want to just lay eyes on her, sleep with her, or patch things up with her? Or all of the above? You weren't sure what was it that you wanted out of this visit, but you knew that you missed her terribly.

Yes, when you make rash decisions based on your impulses it leads to epic disasters, but the times when it felt fan-fucking-tastic, it all had to do with Holly. Asking her to be your plus one, which ended the night with a life-changing kiss. Going to the batting cages together, which made you laugh like you hadn't in ages. And kissing her in the interrogation room? It was the best thing ever.

So the moment you stopped fidgeting and finally rang the doorbell, when the door flew open to reveal the bespectacled woman, when she pulled you into her by the collar of your shirt, you knew it was the best impulsive decision you've made in a long, long time.

No words were exchanged, just moans and shaky breaths and screaming each other's names. When she pinned you against the wall and snaked a hand into your jeans and panties, you felt young again. Before Perik and the academy and being left at the altar. For a moment you felt carefree, like a weight being lifted off your chest, as if you could finally breathe without feeling like your heart would clench painfully. You felt _happy_.

You close your eyes now, trying to capture and relive that moment. The moment and feelings are still so fresh and close that you can almost taste it. You smile as your heart flutter in blissfulness, but it only lasts for a minute before you realize that after tonight, when the sun comes up and the sparkling lights are gone, you'd have to leave this warm and loving cocoon and back to reality. It's like an iced cold bucket of water to your face.

As you finally give in to temptation and run your fingers lightly over the smooth tan skin of her back, over her spine and base of her neck, you know exactly what is it that you want. You want to feel that feeling again. You want to be happy again. You want to be hers again. You don't know how the two of you are going to do this, but you're Gail Peck and she's Holly Stewart and the both of you will be just alright.

_From the outside, from the outside  
>Everyone must be wondering why we try<br>Why do we try?_

You hear a soft hum and feel the body next to you shifting, so you open your eyes to greet her. You're trying not to glance downwards at her chest, so you keep your gaze intently at her beautiful eyes – which happen to look surprisingly alert and wide, without any hint of drowsiness.

"What are you thinking about?" she asks you, her voice soft and warm.

"Us," you capture her exposed hand in yours, fingers dancing in the soft city lights, the contrast of your skin against hers making your lips turn upward. "how long have you been up?"

She simply shrugs off the question and you frown slightly. "Yeah? What about us?"

"What are we doing here, Hol?"

"I don't know, Gail. You're the one showing up at my doorstep."

You frown even more, stopping the fingers that were in a playful dance with each other just a few moments earlier. "You did the exact same thing months ago, Holly."

She squeezes your hand and refuses to let go, her eyes suddenly filled with a hint of fear and sadness. "I know, I know."

You're lying there naked and in silence, searching for the right words to the answer you're both desperately looking for. You can see she's struggling, so you'll go first. You don't want to waste any more time beating around the bush and drowning in the _what-ifs_. You'll say your piece, hoping she'd do the same. If what the both of you want is not the same, you'd leave and return to Toronto, albeit with your heart shattered into pieces.

"I want us to be together," you gulp, waiting for her reply.

"Me too." You can't help but sigh in relief.

"But I don't know how," this may not be the best thing to admit, but one thing Holly has taught you showing vulnerability isn't always a bad thing.

"Me too," sighing, she manoeuvres into a more comfortable position before resting her head on your shoulder and a hand on your chest.

"Sleep. We'll talk more in the morning."

You press a kiss on the top of her head. With your skin against hers and your cheek against her hair, you feel safe in this foreign city. You don't know what the future holds for the both of you, but you're willing to sit back and watch it unfold in front of you.

Taking in the view of the city and breathing in the familiar scent of Holly's hair, exhaustion hits you again and this time, you're not going to fight it.

_You're both going to be alright._


End file.
